Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Why I am not looking for Marital Bliss?

It is an existential crisis. It is troubling. Unnerving even.
With Facebook turning into marriage book, all of us not getting married or not even in a relationship feel like something is odd. Now, before I start, God bless the lovely ones who are married or are getting married. I am honestly extremely happy for you and I hope you are as happy as you look in the pictures on Facebook, and get happier through time.

But here’s the thing, A LOT of people are getting married or are already married, they are all our age, some even younger! And while you aww and aah and sometimes get mad at the mush, you cannot help but wonder, am I doing something wrong? I mean, did I miss a lesson in school or college where we were taught to grow up and share a life with some other person? Did everyone but me get to take this course? There are all these thoughts going about in my head, what if it is too late for me? I mean these people getting married have known each other for a while, been together for a little more and are now obviously taking the next gradual step. I haven’t even met someone, let alone spend some time with anyone, or getting to know them. Is it too late? Have I overstepped an invisible line somewhere?

But the thing that I want to talk about is not the self-doubt, but about the fact that how many ever existential crisis I have, I am not ready for marital bliss. Like everyone, I have had my shares of relationships, met people, liked people, have had my heart broken and resurrected plenty of times. Here’s why I know I am not ready for marital bliss…

I have a new crush every single day.
I have no closet space for my clothes, let alone have a shared closet space with someone else.
My shoes are all over the place and I like them that way.
I sleep like a spread eagle on a queen sized bed.
I cannot tolerate anyone speaking to me before I have had my morning coffee.
I wake up like a vintage vampire, with squinty eyes and a pathetic temper.
My bathroom is just that, MY BATHROOM.
I read everywhere, the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, and sometimes lose track of time.
I stay awake till the wee hours of the morning.
I still have to successfully converse with someone I find attractive.
I still have to successfully keep in touch, once I converse with someone I find attractive.
I have space issues.
I do not like talking on the phone.
My career hasn't even started, it is still in its ‘watering the soil’ phase.
I do not know where my time is going, I literally have no idea where my days/months have gone and how I reached the month of May.
I eat take-out or toasts most days of the week.
I barely move and binge watch TV over the weekends.
I need quiet time in the morning and when I get back home and during the weekends.
I do not have the time to start fresh, get to know another person.
I am a workaholic.
I sometimes like to skip my grooming rituals.
I forget to take care of myself, forget caring about another human being.
I barely meet my family, or my parents, I cannot imagine another set of them.
I cannot imagine living with another living, breathing individual.
I know it is never too late to start a career, but I also know it is never too late to fall in love.
I still don't know how to use 'WE', to refer to me. 

Marital bliss can wait for me until I am ready, because it was and always will be, to each his own.

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