Monday, September 14, 2015

An ode to the Friend Zone

Now for the people who have their grammar compass en pointe will understand what I am trying to say. For those who are having a bit of a problem, I will be talking about the friend zone, not the people in the friend zone but the actual concept.
First off, let’s get the explanation out of the way. What is this ‘friend zone’ thing? Basically it is this imaginary land that you get a passport to when a guy/girl doesn’t like you back but keeps in touch with you even after knowing or not knowing how you feel about them. Yes, this definition is open for debate and you can tell me all about what you think.
Now here’s the thing, first of all if everyone likes everyone romantically, we would be living in a strange polygamous world where everyone was with everyone. Having said that and before talking a little more about this fictitious land, let me just make things clear. I am the ‘Queen’ of the friend zone, and by that I don’t mean I put everyone in the friend zone but the fact that I live here. I am a permanent fixture in this land. Literally, no guy I have ever liked has liked me back, but I have always been that ‘best friend’.
There are just people [read: guys] mainly crying about this, now I do not mean to put my boys on the spot, but well you know you make a big deal out of this. Women are friend zoned too, but somehow we aren’t as affected or at least we do not talk about it so much. The reason why there is even a friend zone is that people are nice. How do I confer that? Well, people usually do not find friends easily; when they do they would like to hold on to those friends. So when the said friend does profess or shows signs of wanting to be something more than friends, a person is put on the spot. Now because this person is a friend you just can’t say something like “ew no”, which you probably would if you didn’t know this friend. So instead, you either politely manoeuvre the advances away from you or then politely decline making it clear that it isn’t the actual friendship that you have a problem with.
Take it from the person who lives there, it isn’t bad at all. Also, the whole myth about not leaving the friend zone is again just that, A MYTH. No, I am not talking about some success story from a friend of a friend of a friend, but I am talking from experience. The friend zone is a psychological structure in your head that you need to break down and see the flip side, or rather the up side.
The person that you like actually likes you back enough to not hurt your emotions; no one cares that much.
If that person wanted they would distance themselves from you and metaphorically throw you out of their lives, but they want you in it.
They let you down, they tell you or manoeuvre you away; not because they are heartless but because they want you to understand and start moving on.
They don’t hang out with you to torture you but to remind you that it works when you are friends too and things needn’t get awkward.
You can’t blame them for the favours that you do for them, they [usually] do not ask for them.

Finally, understand that if someone is friend zoning you then you are definitely friend zoning someone else. It’s not a friend zone; it is just friendship with their ups and crazy downs. But that is how things work; after all we are only human.
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