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Merry Christmas, 2015

I feel like this post is going to be 2 phrases long.
It came. It went. That’s it.

This year has seriously been one of the fastest years in my life. I have to struggle to remember what happened through the time. But as I sit down to write this, I realised I did learn a few things about me and the people around me. But more importantly I learnt that it is okay to not want the same things as people your age or around you.

It has been a long time since I have stopped being a people pleaser, but in all honesty I always felt guilty about it. I always felt guilty about not wanting the same things as the other people my age or maybe not thinking like them. There are instances where I have had people schooling me about the things that I know or have known for a while and I probably wouldn’t say anything to them because I didn’t want to come off as too standoffish.   

Here’s the thing though, if you are openly accepting people’s opinions and decisions then they also have to reciprocate. A relationship of any kind be it a friendship or more needs to have an honest approach where if someone is spouting something horrendous about something with sheer confidence you are allowed to tell them (albeit nicely) that they are wrong.

Here are some other things I learnt…

I learnt that friendships to me mean something completely different to me. A friendship for me does not mean being in constant touch with a person or meeting them every day, but a relationship that picks up where they left off even after 6 months of not meeting each other.
I learnt that I actually prefer my company over the company of people, and I am okay with it now.
I learnt that I suck beyond doubt when it comes to keeping in touch with people and unfortunately I figured that it is something that I wouldn’t be able to change myself.
I (FINALLY) figured out the people who have accepted me the way I am completely and who actually feel about me the same way I feel about them; I will be hanging on to those suckers for dear life (you know who you are).
I learnt that I am actually a very possessive friend; that also is the reason why I do not get close to people very easily unless I am sure that they can reciprocate my emotions and understand them.
I learnt that I am addicted to reading. No, not books but generally; I can read anything from shampoo bottles to articles on the internet to tweets to people’s status messages; I am addicted, I always have to read something.
I learnt that I am actually intelligent; I don’t mean to sound cocky here. I just want to say that I know a lot of stuff about stuff and it sneakily surprises me at times.
I learnt that intelligence is better accepted when it comes in an aesthetic package. Again, not saying that I am a ravishing beauty, but a few tweaks in my appearance has caused a lot of people to sit up and notice my intelligence.
I learnt that I am intimidated by loud voices; So I give up easily or don’t talk to or around people who have loud voices.
I learnt that the frayed and ripped jeans is the only trend I have ever followed when it is actually in style. (I am addicted to my ripped pants)
I have learnt that my hands look great in any and every nail shape and it is refreshing to know that.
I learnt that I have now turned into a small bag person; big bag girl didn’t use a lot of big bags in 2015.
I learnt that I positively hate shopping.
I learnt that everyone has an agenda, and that’s okay too.

Honestly, this year has just been a time lapse of moments that I do not remember living.
Well, Merry Chirstmas 2015 I wish I could remember more about you. 2016, buddy you need to slow down.

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