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Merry Christmas,2016

Every year this post gets more and more difficult to write. The year whooshes past faster every year and now I am afraid this one has passed on in a blink. I feel like I say this about every year that is going by and it scares me that one day I will wake up with a head full of grey hair (which I already have) and realize I have nothing to show for it.

As I sit to write this down though, as always I realized a lot of different things. This year was a big one, this was the year I turned the big 2 and 5. This was the year when most of my friends got married. This was the year when I took a giant leap of faith, and I learnt that sometimes understanding yourself takes a long long time.

I learnt that sometimes you take a leap of faith and fall on your face but it doesn’t bring you down. You feel like you’ve fallen. You definitely don’t land on the moon but you get a bit of stardust until you are ready to take the leap again.
I learnt that sometimes you are stronger than you think you are and not in the romantic “I can survive” way but actually strong like I don’t need things way.
I learnt that when you stop having expectations out of the relationships in your life you actually end up improving them.
I also learnt that I do not want to give importance to relationships in my life that make me not want to expect.
I learnt that I am capable of loving deeply but I am a bully when it comes to showing that love.
I learnt that I am okay with waiting for people who understand that I love them deeply without me saying it.
I learnt that I have a few of these people around me.
I learnt that I am a people person, one day every 2 weeks. 
I learnt that I like people who are weird like I am, and then I become a people person for one day every week. 
I learnt that I don't mind a party but I need to know about it at least 24-36 hours in advance. 
I learnt that a violent streak in me gets awakened everytime someone asks me, "why are you so quiet?"
I learnt that when you start feeling okay with your appearance, the people around you start appreciating it too.
I learnt that I like working out, but that is one activity I will never do around someone else. That is for sure bonafide ME-TIME
I learnt that when you stop seeking validation, you get validated. No it is not going to be romantic, no you will want people to validate your decisions and it will be hell when they don’t. But once that acceptance rolls around you just stop caring.
I learnt that libation does not necessarily lead to liberation.
I learnt that it is better to be perceived as an asshole.
I learnt that I genuinely cannot accept compliments graciously and I feel like people are either being nice to me or are intimidated by me. I have to work on accepting them as they come.
I learnt to stop compromising on the things that I like because it is not the popular opinion. I like my own company and that company likes everything that I do.
I learnt that there are times when this being alone stuff gets to me.
I learnt that I am supremely emotional person and will break into tears every chance I can get.
I learnt that I am still obsessed with lip balms and I want 10 of them on me at any given point in time.
I learnt that when you stop seeking things, things that are meant for you come looking for you.
I learnt that people will not always understand you or your choices but that does not mean they love you any less or appreciate you any less. It is your choice to make, if you think they are worth it you help them understand or you leave them to understand what they would like.
I learnt that physical appearances are important only to those who cannot bothered to understand that there is a person behind that package. To the people who like the person, the package you have is instantly attractive.
I learnt that first impression is never the last impression provided you care enough to change it.
Finally, I learnt that sometimes really close people are very capable of hurting you but you are always strong enough to walk away from that.

So long, 2016, thank you for teaching me all that you did.


2017, please slow down!

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