Saturday, August 12, 2017

A nocturnal blanket

I usually write at night. I find that my thoughts flow freely when there is silence and no one is pacing around and there isn't anything to distract me. People have called this a lot of things, insomnia and even a screwed up state of mind. This isn't something I can explain but it is something I have been observing for a while now. 

I always thought it was the silence and calmness that brought out the stories that I had in me, my truest self,  my better self. But it was never silent, I always had my favourite songs blaring while I poured everything out on paper. So it wasn't silent, it was just calm. So I decided to name it, name this state, a nocturnal blanket. As soon as night falls, there is just some security that you feel. It's probably the darkness that tells you that it is okay now to be who you are, just until day break. 

Look back, look back at all the deep relationships you have ever made, the best friendships, the revelation of your deepest secret, did it happen in the middle of the day? Those 12am to 3am conversations that seals a bond maybe an unspeakable one or one sealed with speech, this bond that somehow binds you to another person. I don't mean this just romantically, but you know one of those amazing late  night coffee things you do with your friends or a drive and then suddenly when that night ends and day breaks, you are closer. 

This blanket does a lot of wonderful things, it gives you the confidence to accept your true self, be vulnerable, share your secrets, share your life, shed tears, laugh with aplomb, BE YOU. And then as the world would have it, you have a miraculous reset button. The day breaks and you can choose to be who you want to be, choose how you are with another person the next morning. 

There is always this debate, you never know how close friendships start, you never know how relationships get deeper, how one minute you're getting to know each other and the next you can say, I know you. There is never a definitive time, or moment when it comes to these deeper relationships. And even if the people leave your lives, these are the people you will always start off with where you left off. 

So folks, the truth is, it isn't who you spend your days with, and it isn't even about who you spend your night with or wake up next to. It is about who you let into YOUR nocturnal blanket and who accepts it and becomes your non-judgmental nocturnal blanket in the morning...
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