Saturday, December 23, 2017

Merry Christmas, 2017

This year.

I felt like finishing that sentence but, I feel like this year for most of us was like a statement by itself. Every year I feel like the year goes by super fast and that I didn't get time to catch a breath. This year did seem like it was whooshing past, I feel like I am still reveling in my super awesome birthday celebration. BUT, I have never wanted a year to end this much. 

I know what that sounds like, but it isn't that this year was negative. It was just that, this year was an emotional, physical, professional and mental roller coaster and I'd just like a breather. As always this year taught me a lot of things, and reinforced some things that I had forgotten. 

So shall we?

I learnt that I have the patience of a saint. No, seriously, the amount of people that are alive and un-bruised today should thank me for sparing their lives!

I learnt that in most relationships in my life, I stop expecting things, and somehow those relationships flourish over time. 

I learnt that you ALWAYS (however confident you are), have a few people you seek out for validation. 
I learnt that these people are sometimes constant and sometimes brand new entrants. 
I learnt that I might have picked the wrong people for my validation this year, at least some. 

I learnt that some friendships are better than love, and that doesn't require physical presence to feel warm and fuzzy. 

I learnt that excuses are the only way you understand intentions. 
I learnt that if someone would like to do something, for you, with you or around you, there will never be an excuse to not do those things. 

I learnt that understanding another human being completely is a downfall for your sanity. 

I learnt that shorts are my favourite piece of clothing and I feel like living in a place where I can wear shorts all the time. 
I learnt that, on the contrary, winter is my favourite weather and I would like a job that would help me move around so that I could only live in cold places. 

I learnt that sometimes keeping your mouth tightly shut actually might help move things along. 

I learnt that words are not always understood by people, even if you say them, scream them, spell them out - if they don't want to understand, it wont be understood. 

I learnt that there is a part of me, a part that I don't like, that I want to leave behind this year. It is time. 

I learnt that your relationship with your parents will be constantly evolving, and they may not always 
evolve into something positive, but they will ALWAYS be your parents. 

I learnt that wanting to run away has been an instinct, but this year I learnt that I can. 

I learnt that if you're not on my top 5 I will call when I'm in trouble, you're probably not a permanent 
fixture in my life. 

I learnt that I am genuinely not a people person, but apparently I am amazing at camouflaging that fact. 

I learnt that I actually have a resting bitch face, it is a thing that I cannot and will not change. 

I learnt that I am 80 mentally, and that my body is now catching up with that. 

I learnt that fitting into your mom's clothing has the same thrill at 26 that it did at 12.

I learnt that I will put in an effort to dress up for something, but accepting compliments for it still remains a weakness. (2018 is my year maybe?)

I learnt that it might take a little effort to make people think you have a personality or are intelligent especially if they think you're remotely attractive. 

I learnt that this year, I finally will withdraw my name from the  nationwide feminist movement, the sham that it has become and live with my understanding of feminism until further notice. 

I learnt that no one is irreplaceable, and if you think you are invaluable to something, your reality check will be waiting at the next corner. 

And finally, I learnt, that whatever happens, you will always try to not repeat your mistakes, even if it means going the extra mile. 

2017, you were something, you gave me some, you TOOK away a lot. But I am glad you happened. 

2018, let's start slow, I'm old now. I need a break already. 

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