Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Turning Back (Part I)

This was the most difficult thing she had ever written.

Hey you, 

I know it's been a while since I have written to you, and you think that I am AWOL after what happened, but honestly I didn't know how to say the things that I am about to say to you. 

You've known me a while, and for those who have known me for longer, they know and understand my need to run away. You could call it wanderlust or any other fancy term out there but the truth is, I haven't found home yet. 

When I used to read, home isn't a place or a house but a feeling, I always thought it was rubbish. But the past few years have taught me the truth in that statement more than anything has. Every time I go away I live another life, I become another person and every time I come back I get this sinking feeling that I am coming back for NOTHING, that I am coming back to no one. Then I met you. I am not saying that I found home with you, but you made me feel like there was a reason for me to come back. That if I ran there'd be someone waiting for my return, and that was as close as I could get to home. 

But it stopped. It stopped feeling like you were waiting for my return anymore, it felt like my presence didn't matter and the sinking feeling returned to me. Every time I ran away, coming back was that much more painful because I didn't have anything to come back to, again. 

Well, this time, I let the other feeling win. Remember I told you I'd be visiting relatives across the seas? Well, I decided to stick around here. Honestly, I don't know when I'd be back or if I will. I guess this would be a good time as any to say goodbye...

Here's hoping we run into each other at one of the million coffee shops around the world. 


Lucas didn't know this letter was making its way to him as he went about his usual workday, with thoughts of Kimberly on the back of his mind.
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