Saturday, January 13, 2018

Turning Back (Part III)

Lucas felt like he had just been hit by a bus. Clutching Kimberly's letter he felt winded. There were so many thoughts and emotions going through him, that he didn't even know he could feel at the same time. He was angry at Kimberly for not talking to him earlier about the things she felt, angry at himself for not asking and just letting things just float around, disappointed in Kimberly and himself.
He needed air, he wouldn't have survived another moment in his house. Just as he opened the door, he was shocked to see Kimberly standing right in front of him.

Hi, she said.
Hi? he responded.

This was new, this awkward silence, they weren't even awkward when they decided a while ago to not be together for a while. It wasn't silent, ever.

Going somewhere? 
Just for a walk. 
The letter must've made you a little light-headed, right?
He will never know how she knew exactly how he was feeling mentally or physically at a particular time.
Come, let's grab coffee. 
She took his hand in hers and started walking like it was the most natural thing. He followed like his body knew it was.

I thought you said goodbye.
I thought you didn't want me around anymore. 
I thought you were running away.
I thought you didn't want me to stay. 

The confessions, feelings, accusations flowed out even before they managed to take one sip of their coffee.

You need to say things, she said, say them before it's too late.
You knew them, he said, you know things before I even say it. Why don't you know these things then?
Because knowing feels a little like a concoction that you have created in your own head, and when my knowledge doesn't go with your behaviour, THAT's a problem!

They hadn't realised when they had walked back home, she had taken her spot on the couch, him on the chair where he'd always be.

You need to KNOW Kim that I want you here even when I don't say it a lot. 
And I need you to SAY it, Luke, more often than NOT!

That was it, that unintentional rhyme was enough to set them off. They couldn't stop laughing anymore. Kimberly walked to his desk and plonked herself on it and pulled him closer.

As she held his face, he said, this letter was the most difficult thing I have ever read.
I know, she said.
Then why did you write it?
Because I knew my home needed a renovation. Why did you think I didn't write an email? I was turning back time. 
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