Monday, May 5, 2014

It is OK!

People find themselves in a constant state of confusion. They feel happy and content with their life sometimes, but every day they wake into the light of the morning sun questioning everything. I know questioning things is good, yet I can’t help but wonder if it ever holds them back? Does all this analysis lead to paralysis? Not only do they question everything around them but perhaps, most importantly, themselves. That can’t be good can it? Or is it? Or am I just over thinking?

These are questions that are similar to or are the questions that they might be asking themselves:
  • Am I supposed to know what I want to do by now?
  • If so, am I supposed to know how to do it?
  • If not, will I need to find out soon?
  • How do I find out?
  • Do I want you?
  • Do I want anyone?
  • Do I just want wine and chocolate?
  • Am I supposed to find things this hard?
  • Is it normal to be this confused?
  • Are other people this confused?
  • Is it okay to ask people if they are confused?
  • What do I want for dinner tonight?
  • Is it supposed to look like that?
  • Am I good enough for this?
  • Am I good enough for anything?
  • Is that song I just wrote mega cringe?
  • I think that song I just wrote was mega cringe…
  • Why am I not Joni Mitchell?
  • Why am I not Bob Dylan?
  • Why am I not BeyoncĂ©?
  • Did that person just double take at my face?
  • Maybe I look really good today?
  • Maybe they think I’m really pretty?
  • Or maybe I look like a troll?
  • Probably a troll
  • What do I want?
This cant just be them.

I think the worst part of it is that it’s all driven by fear. A constant, underlying fear in everything they do. Failure. The Unknown. Being alone. Perhaps most of all the fear of waking up in 20 years time and realizing it all wasn’t worth it. Realizing that they should have done something else. Realizing they should have loved someone else. Realizing all the time and opportunity they wasted. And that is what is truly terrifying.

And it is this that holds them back.

If you’ve ever seen that Friends episode, you’ll get it. Chandler convinces Rachel to overcome her fear and quit her job and go find a career she’d love. Released from the deathly grip of the fear she soon finds a job she loves and has a baby and gets off the plane and lives happily ever after with Ross. Its about releasing that fear and letting go. Granted, we don’t all look like Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt and don’t have scriptwriters dictating our lives but STILL. The principle remains.

I only wish they could be like Rachel. 

Stop terrifying themselves so much with the idea of the future, so much so that they're too afraid to take action in the present. Stop questioning themselves so much and give their maimed self-confidence enough time to heal and repair.

You're capable of great things and I know you are. It’s just about belief, maybe yours or sometimes the belief someone else has in you. And you'll get there, no fear. Stop over thinking everything, do what you are doing even if it is nothing. Love freely, trust blindly. Yeah I know, easier said than done. But try, just because everyone around you had their life sorted it doesn't mean you should too. The grass is always greener on the other side, and I am not saying this as some crap philosophy. 

Unfortunately, it is true. You have a lot of friends, who's lives look sorted, but you never know on the inside they might be miserable. Everyone isn't the same and it is okay to be confused for however long. Cause after all that confusion, there will be a day, when everything will be crystal clear. The more you stress yourself about clarity the farther it will be from you.
So relax. Take a deep breath. Continue to do what you are doing. Give yourself less grief, don't stop completely cause then you will get lazy. Push yourself, but not to the point where you think you are good for nothing.

You, yes you, you know who you are, it is OK! Things always have a way to work themselves out, with a little push from you. Confusion is a way of life, don't give yourself a tough time because of it.

Take care you confused soul!
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  1. Great post! ��

  2. Confusion, is as far as I have understood it, a rite of passage. A phase everyone must go through before coming to an understanding. Take it like the night that must come before the dawn.

    There is one thing I live by - you may not see a reason to do what you do, but it is important that you do it.

    Things may seem blurred now, but they will get better. And that's the only clarity in life!

    And there is a quote from a book that is dear to me - "not all those who wander are lost"

  3. We'll something I totally agree with. Live life in the present. Dont wander, thinking much about the future. Because you never know how long are you destined to be in this amazing world.

    Another amazing post with clear and crisp way of putting the message for everyone out there who do read at times just for the sake of motivation.

    1. Thank you!
      These comments help too, as motivation!
      Keep reading :)


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