The good part...

Kimberly's ex always liked to start relationships about seven years in, emotionally and she never understood that. He didn’t hesitate to get to know her family, to start tracking her menstrual cycle or sleeping over every night. She thought it was flattering, that probably he just really liked her a lot. It had nothing to do with her. He just liked being in a super serious, committed relationship regardless of. But she's starting to think he wasn’t wrong to want that. There’s no real “good” part but she finds herself fantasizing about their future.

Doug, the one, keeps track of exactly how long they’ve been together so they’re not moving too fast or too slow. But sometimes when she is with him, she wants to jump to the “good” part. She wants to get to the place where he knows to put her glasses on the nightstand and she knows that he would want a cup of chai when he gets home from work. Where they finish each other’s sentences or better still, convey everything at parties across the room just by looking at each other. Where they always know they will sleep beside each other. Where they’re talked about like one person. Even though she knows this can be annoying and he’ll certainly maintain his interests, as she will hers.

“Doug, I want to watch you take your medications in the morning and you watch me wash my make up off at night. I want to make you dinners I know you like,while you record all my favorite shows so we can watch them together. When I am sick, I want you to spend hours by my bedside feeding me my favourite things. When you are sad, I want you to bury your face in my neck and cry for as long as you need to. I want to know the rhythm of your breath and I want to feel like I will never lose you. Don’t you want that? Warm under the covers. No worries. No pain. No anxiety. No urgency. Just our arms around each other and peace and calm around us.”

Sometimes she wants to skip to the part where they’ve been together a really long time. She doesn’t want the urgency, the unfamiliarity and the shaky ground. She wants to be where they’ve been mentally, during the time that they've been together, and how fast both of them fell, she wants to be in a place where that kind of emotion and attachment seems appropriate. She wants them to be comfortable and cozy. Partners, a seamless unit.

Musings of a lady in love, that is all this was going to be.